Ivy Wesson, class of 2021
Do you understand what it is like to wake up at 4am
Simply because you never went to sleep?
Do you know that feeling of bitter wind on tear stained cheeks?
Stained because the tears are always there
Even when you think they’re not.
Do you understand the agony
Of forever sitting amongst clouds that stretch across the entire sky?
Dark, terrifying clouds.
Clouds that scream and make you ache down to the bones.
Do you understand how drenched you get
When you have always lived under the rain?
Have you run into seemingly open arms
Only to feel them locked around your throat?
Have you seen how incredibly dark everything really is
As soon as you allow it to be?
Have you listened to that voice that never shows its face,
The voice that tells you you are always alone?
Have you heard the sounds inside my mind?
Metal scraping together like nails on a chalkboard magnified
Gelid, mocking voices that whisper in your ears
Until you simply cannot take it anymore.
Have you ever held my palette in your hands? Painted with my spectrum of colors?
Ink disguising itself in different bottles.
I try to paint a sunrise
Only to see it from an ocean floor.