Morgan Pursley, class of 2023
Why Can’t I Feel?
poetry

When i die, how many will be there to grieve?
When i die, how many people will remember?
When anxiety comes knocking on my door, it’s these questions that haunt me,
And he knocks a lot,
How many times has someone thought of me in admiration?
What friends miss me when I leave?
Do people smile when they think of me?
Am i not enough?
Some have cracks in their head where the anxiety sneaks in,
I have double doors with four windows on each side,
I don’t hide from it I invite it,
If i can’t feel the sun why not invite the night in,
Humans are programmed to feel,
I’m feeling something at least why is it not enough,
Why is it not enough,
Why are kids still asking why I’m not smiling?
Why can’t I smile?
Why can’t I fake it?
Why can’t I feel?

***

our name in the sand

When you go on walks and you go on talks,
There’s something you’ll always see,
Two initials written with a plus in between,
There usually on wood or boards, something that can last,
But I knew we’d end fast,
So I wrote our name in the sand,
Because I knew we wouldn’t get to the band,
Because I knew we would have to land,
I knew the sand would pass,
Or the waves would crash,
That we would have a past,
But I had hope so I gave you chance,
But there was something there that was missing,
That we were too close to land,
So I wrote our name in the sand.

***

shadow

My shadow hides behind me like jeans two sizes too small,
It just doesn’t fit anymore,
It tries to fit me but i’ve gained too much,
Too much anxiety, too much hope,
It used to fit the girl who knew too little,
Now it’s trying to fit the girl who knows too much.